No, that Man Following a “Rape Parody Account” is NOT a Feminist

I don’t know why life in the twitterverse has come to this.

As a rape survivor and activist who has been heckled, mocked, threatened,  and even stalked to a Unite Women rally, I try to be a strong voice for other survivors. I talk frankly about my PTSD. I openly support better prosecution of rapists and strong, bias-free VAWA laws. I won’t hesitate to share my symptoms, triggers, and outrage about crimes of a sexual nature. I talk a lot about what it is like to be a survivor of abuse. Not because it’s fun. Not because it’s cheerful. But because it’s important for me to find my voice and share my experience with others.

I guess that’s why this account is so funny to people on Twitter who dislike me. Yes, that’s my real face. The pic is stolen and it’s about 7 years old. That’s me. Or, at least, that’s what people who don’t like me on Twitter THINK is me.

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According to this “parody” account, I got raped for attention. I talk about my PTSD so you’ll feel sorry for me. I’ll admit, like every person who has had a flashback, shuddered when a hand touches my back or flinched in horror at an unanticipated sexual touch, I’ve got emotional scars. Those scars will fade but never quite heal, I’m afraid. But it’s shocking, and appalling, when anyone finds that fact funny.

Of course this account upsets me. It depresses me. It makes me feel ill, a little scared for my own safety, and a little paranoid that some crazy dude out there thinks that it’s the funniest thing in the world that I, personally, was raped.

No, I am not a feminist. I haven’t earned that title according to one of the men who follows that account. I am not supposed to talk about women’s issues. I’m not a “real journalist” (I’m not, I’m a writer, just an FYI)  I’m crazy, and I do not know what I am speaking of because I’m lost in a fog of PTSD.

At least, according to Ian Boudreau, a writer for and

In fact, I would go so far as to say, to this particular writer, I am not a person at all. I am not allowed to talk about my PTSD, and if I do, I’m “crying victim.” I do not deserve the same justice as other rape survivors, or the right to a different opinion, because I’m a rape survivor. I deserve to be stalked, have my looks and body mocked, turned into an unwanted sexual object. It’s fine, really. All feminists who speak up should just prepare themselves for being abused when talking about their  experience and participating in activism. If  people disagree with you, it’s okay to chalk it up to being crazy. That’s the message I’ve gotten, over and over, for the past month since the account was created.

In the wake of the backlash of the rape jokes and threats against Zerlina Maxwell, I really would honestly expect Imani Gandy, of Angry Black Lady Chronicles and RH Reality Check, to admonish a blogger on staff  who thinks this is okay. She stood up for Zerlina, a stranger on the internet, writing articles and tweeting about how incredibly messed up the threats and jokes made against her were. But I am not Zerlina. I am not famous, I am not going to go on TV or get written up on MSNBC.

While Zerlina is brave — I am crazy. While Zerlina is an advocate, I am a “victim”. While it’s wrong to make rape jokes at Zerlina, it’s okay to make them at me — because I am ugly.

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Because a self-proclaimed, male feminist DOES NOT LIKE ME.


Good to know what life is really like in the Progressive twitterverse. Ms. Imani Gandy has chosen to simply ignore any questions I have about her staff member. 

Ian is completely aware that he is following this account (he’s one of only 3 real-life people who DO) and he’s been confronted about it several times already. 

The sad truth of the matter is that this “progressive” and “feminist” writer knows exactly what that “rape parody” account is about – victim and slut shaming in their most basic forms.

He just doesn’t like me, and therefore, he just doesn’t care.

(4/2/2013 ) Update: Mr. Boudreau is a feminist, because he SAYS he is! In fact, he responded to my tweet promoting this article to tell everyone so! He’s pointing out a parody article a blogger I RT a lot wrote (before I  even knew him.) So THIS is why it’s okay for a “male feminist” to follow an account that has trolled me personally for being a rape survivor for the past 30 days, everyday. Note the fun use of mocking “triggers.”

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2 thoughts on “No, that Man Following a “Rape Parody Account” is NOT a Feminist

  1. Melissa, witnessing the mass freak out by mainly by white American men lately I can only come to one conclusion. They are spoiled humans used to getting their way simply because they are male, white and American. Their attitudes about women and minorities are based on their need for power and control.

    With long overdue advances of women and minorities, a global economy and near total control of corporations white males are finally facing the realities women and minorities endured for centuries.

    The human animal is one complicated and strange being, where our very existence is threatened (climate change), raping women, torture, war and demand for affordable health care are conspiracies. Amazing to watch and endure myself. I can’t walk in a room without some white Ditto, demanding I defend myself because I am “librul”.

    All I can say is don’t let them shout us down, and now more than ever we must live our principles and publicly disagree with the angry white men, and their pitiful belief that they are somehow rugged individualists and deserve to be head of everything just because they were born.

    Best of luck and don’t stop.

    The Wes Brown Show

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